Saturday, January 26, 2008

Short and Sweet

Wow, I cant believe its only been four days since my last post. It feels like forever. Suddenly the weeks go by so slow now.
Not really anything new this week.....I worked Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and am off until Wednesday!!!! I'm excited! What shall I do? I might buy my website builder now that I just got paid. I got about 75 bucks more than usual so I have enough money to buy it. Then I can at least get working on building the website so i can finally start my business.
God has really been giving me a new found desire to study His Word. I had been not very excited about reading the Bible, but He has shown me what I can do when I dive into His Word. I can share truth. I'm currently starting to study Ruth. I never totally understood the whole kinsman redeemer thing in the story so now I will. I also have found a blessing in taking notes when listening to my pastor's sermons in church. It really keeps my mind focused and I can understand the word a whole lot better.

Thats about it. The play is going along pretty well, alot of things to remember but as always its a blast!!!


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Breathe. Just Breathe. Trust. Just Trust.

Yes I am still writing on here. I worked alot of days last week, because my manager gave me too many hours on accident, so I haven't had that much time to do the stuff I would like to do.

I do however, have a day off today because Tuesdays are rehearsal days for Much Ado About Nothing. So I gave myself permission to stay up past my usual 9-10 pm bedtime last night and watch a movie. I watched Therese, a film about a young girl who joins a nunnery at the age of 15. It is actually a true story. Even though I wasn't really in to the praying to Mary part of the story, I really connected with Therese in that she realized that God wants the simple things. The invisible things. The tiny show of love. The tone of voice you choose when speaking to someone. Deciding to be nice to someone that really annoys you. In the movie, there is this other nun that is quite irritating and rude to her, but Therese decides to be nice and kind to her. She smiles at her, and when the nun asks why she is always smiling, Therese replies "I'm happy to see you". I really thought that moment was touching, because she was genuinely finding joy in being kind, even though the nun wasn't always the best person to be around. Therese wanted her heaven on earth spent showing her love for God. She longed for that intimate relationship with Him. Though I don't agree joining a nunnery was necassarily the answer, I do think her heart was in the right place, because that is what I want. To be intimate with God. And I want to find joy in doing his will, even in being nice to my worst annoyances.
In the movie Therese talks about having to be like a little child when coming to God. I want to be like that. I want to have a faith like a child. Remember being a child? I don't remember worrying about things like I do now. I remember trusting that everything was going to be alright, just like I trusted that oxygen was around me. The difference between then and now was then I think I just trusted. I don't remember necassarily trusting in God, I just recall trusting. But now that I am more conscious of God, I need to just trust in Him. I need to treat God like the ground I stand on that will not fall under me. Trust Him like He is air. Trust Him like I trust my feet to walk in front of each other. Trust Him like its normal. Like its not a thing I decide to do, just a thing I DO.

I remember when I was six years old we took a vacation to Thailand and stayed in a condo-type place. Well, all of us got sick when we were there. My mom and I got pink eye, my brother got a bad rash, and most of us were throwing up. There were also several geckos crawling inside the house, on the walls while we were awake and while we were sleeping. But its so weird, I have no recollection at all of being scared. Now I would be worried my brother had a deathly rash, our vacation was going to be ruined because we were sick, and I probably would have seriously considered buying a flight home in extreme fear of sleeping with geckos above me and around me. Back then, I didn't think any of these things. I trusted. I just did it. Like a little child. Thats why God tells us we need to come to Him like little children to inherit the Kingdom. He does not want me to have exceptions like an adult would when trusting in Him. He wants us to trust in Him like there's not a worry in the world. Because really, with God, there should be no worries. He made the world. He's going to take care of it.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I'm Back!!!!!!!!!

Why hello again and Happy New Year! It is 2008 now and it is time to began again fresh.
Well, on January 7th and 8th I had auditions for Shakespeare's Greatest Hits. We are doing Richard III and Much Ado about Nothing this year. After much painful waiting, the cast list came out and I was given the part of Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing!!!!!! I'm so excited! The first rehearsal is today so it should be fun.

On a different note, God has really been encouraging me this week. I've been feeling kind of discouraged about my life and what I'm going to do with it...and if my business will ever get off the ground. I'm tired of people telling me I should go to college instead of just accepting my decision to take a year off and try and start a business. But God has been showing me that He is working through me despite my doubts. I realized yesterday after looking at my blog adress (beautyofgrace316) that my birthday( 3/16) is the same chapter and verse of one of the greatest passages in the Bible, John 3:16.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.

Funny, I've been living for 18 years and never noticed that my birthday coincided with the verse. And around the same time God shows me this I am praying to Him to make me feel like He loves me. God is amazing.
Another incident occured a couple weeks ago when I was in bed and pleading for God to show me in an unmistakeable way that He loved me. I felt prompted to open my cell phone, and when I did, I saw my banner which said "God Loves You". I'll admit, at the time, I was doubtful as to whether it was really God or just my own mind playing tricks on me. But when I was explaining the incident to my mom, it suddenly sounded so stupid that it could have come from anything else but God Himself. It is so encouraging to know that God is still working in me even if I don't feel He is all the time. It is all based on His works, not mine.

welp, I've got to leave for rehearsal at 2:45 and I need to vacuum, clean my dog's poo off the backyard, fix my hair, do my makeup, and eat lunch before I go. I know. It seems as if I have lots of time. But time goes by fast these days. I can't wait till I'm in Heaven and time is not an object.


Monday, January 14, 2008

sorry bout the long wait..

So I was going to finish that year review thing...but I didn't have time to do it before the year ended. So it'll just be daily posts. More to follow soon.